spilling the tea on friendship

Hello everyone! Welcome to the very first blog post here on VarieTEA Talk!!! My name is Alexis and I am spilling ALL the tea on friendship. Hannah and I know a lot about friendship and felt that this topic would be a perfect way to jump start our blog. I will be giving you my own personal thoughts on friendship,expereinces I've had with friends, and how I maintain friendships with others. If you want to hear some funny stories or need advice on a friendship you may have, PLEASE continue reading! *Also, imagine "Real Friends by Kanye West lightly playing in the background while reading :)*

Friendship

So, what is friendship??? I'm sure we all know what having a friendship is ,but my definition of a friendship is establishing a mutual relationship with someone that ENHANCES your life. Did you notice that I said enhance? I believe that any relationship that you have with others (friends, family, significant others) should enhance your life always. If it's not enhancing your life then that relationship tie needs to be let go of ASAP! A friendship should never be draining or one-sided. If you find yourself readily available for your "friend" when they need you but they are not readily available when you need them, SORRY, you are in a one-sided friendship and more than likely that person is just using you or doesn't understand how true friendship works. Sometimes, you may think that a person has your best interest in mind but in the end, they don't. When friendships fail and people turn out to be completely different than you thought they were, it's okay! I have been so grateful for failed relationships that I've had with others in my life. I believe that everything happens for a reason and sometimes you need certain things to fall apart for them to come back together again! With all of this being said, I will now share my personal friendship experience with you all!

My Friendship Experiences

I have been known to be the type of person that tries to see the good in everyone. I used to have high expectations for other people and would always get disappointed. I've learned to not really expect things from others but.... I still try to see the good. I have heard several people call me fake, "goody two shoes", and even toxic. None of these things really phase me because I know my heart and my intentions when it comes to the relationships that I have established for people. I can count on my hand 5 REAL friends that I have and I am very content with those 5. Growing up, as a little girl, I would always cry when another person said "I'm not going to be your friend anymore." Those words would devastate me because I wanted to have A LOT of friends. As I've gotten older I have realized that QUALITY over QUANTITY is much more important. I know that I'm only 20 something years old but from then to now, I have learned a lot and Im still learning. I have remained great friends with 2 people from high school and met 3 more great friends (one being Hannah) in college. All of my friends enhance my life in different ways, have different dynamics and personalities, and have made me a much better person in different areas of my life. I have had other people judge my choice of friends before, saying that because I associate with one person and they are viewed negatively, I am viewed negatively as well. Although I understand where these people are coming from, I am very aware of the choices that I CHOOSE to make and am very comfortable with myself and my values. For a while, I let all of the negative talk get in my head and became really concerned about how others viewed me. In the end, I realized that the people that REALLY know me, know my heart just like I do. Why was I letting people who didn't matter impact my decisions on who I wanted in my life?? This is a prime example of how one friendship made me a better person and made me realize more of who I am and who/what I want in MY life. In my opinion, sometimes God places certain people in your life to help you, help them! The best advice that I can give to you is to always try to be a blessing in someone else's life but also know when to walk away from an unhealthy or "toxic" friendship.

How do I maintain my friendships?

I'm going to be so honest right now, there are times where I do get tired of my friends!! Sometimes, I like to have my alone time to gather my thoughts and just be by myself. That doesn't mean that I don't like them, it just means that I like my alone time. I'm sure my friends feel the same way from time to time as well! It's all about finding that balance. My friends and I have a great connection with each other. We understand each other's likes and dislikes, we have common interest in certain things, and we all have separate friends outside of each other. I support all of my friends in doing things that are going to BUILD them up and not TEAR them down. I support the positive things that they are doing in their lives and tell them straight up how I feel about the negative things. They also do the same for me!! Sometimes I don't want to hear what they have to say ,but in the end they're usually right and I know that it is for my own good. All of my friends live very busy lives and all of them are GIRL BOSSES that I am proud to call my friends! Although I live miles away from them, they continuously support me and encourage me to be better and do better daily. Maintaining a friendship isn't hard at all. You should reciprocate all the qualities of a friend that you would like to receive! For me and my friends some of these qualities include; acceptance- accepting a person as they are but also reminding them that they are capable of more, support- being there for each other through good and bad times, sense of humor- not taking life too seriously and having a good laugh every now and then, honesty- being able to tell each other what's on our mind whether it is good or bad, nonjudgemental- not judging one another when a mistake is made, and last but not least, Respect- having respect for one another (respecting each others values, time, and opinions). A friendship is a two way street. In order to really maintain a friendship, both people must put in the effort to make that friendship work!!!!

Friendships are beautiful connections to have IF you have the right ones! Go out and try to make a new friend today! Maybe there is someone in your location that may need a quick friend to chat with.

"Friendship isn't about who you've known the longest. It's about who walked into your life, said "I'm here for you" and proved it."

Check out Hannah & I's take on friendship by watching our first youtube video below!

The Tea has officially been spilt on Friendship! Hope you enjoyed this blog post! Feel free to join our VarieTEA Talk Community and leave comments letting us know what your take is on friendships. Please subscribe to our youtube page and sign up as a member to receive notification every time we post a blog!

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Thanks for your support!

XOXO,

Alexis